About Blog

Why This Blog?

One reason stated three ways:

Poetically:

This is a call to aged women, 40-, 30- and 20-something women, teenage women, black women who have misunderstood what it truly means to be a strong black woman.

To the women who think hoochie is cute, flippant is flattering and the one who seeks it all without hearing the call from God to make a move.

This is a call to the women who’ve bought into the myth of the strong black woman, who’ve taken her strength to oppress others as the social structure has oppressed her.

This is a call to the women who’ve allowed media and other forms of exploitation to define her living among the survival of the fittest.

And, this is a call to women who know what it means to be strong, black, woman and Christian and can help turn the tide from the gutters to which many are headed.

This, my sisters, is a call for all who seek healing from within to deal with powers from without.

This, my sisters, is for you.

Traditionally:
I have struggled over the years to define what being a strong black woman (SBW) truly means. I saw my mom influence my dad to do what he did not want to do. I read about activist Angela Y. Davis choosing a political party despite it being un-American. And I heard of countless others who made their way in a white, male-dominated society to achieve. Many times I also noticed that these strong women were at odds with men. It seems the men couldn’t handle their strength and would fight, physically, emotionally and financially, to keep them down. As a result, the women formed bonds among each other within church, sororities and other groups. Some even became lovers. Seeing this strength scared me. I wanted to self-actualize, but I realized that doing so could alienate me from the man I loved. I knew I wasn’t a lesbian, so I saw my options as slim.

More recently I have seen a younger generation embracing what has been defined as an SBW. “Mrs. Smith, the women in my family are strong. We have always been that way. That’s what I see. Even when they have husbands they run everything. This is what I know,” one of my young college students confessed after sharing with me her struggle to be a submissive wife. Another, in her late teens, considered having an abortion so she could pass the semester without being sick. Her friend told her, “Girl, you better get up on that table. I’m about to do it again tomorrow.” Her aunt, by hitting the young woman in the stomach, tried to induce an abortion because “you have just started to get your life together. You shouldn’t have a baby now.” This “new strength” scares me, too. My students are following what they see, and they also profess Christianity.

We have four generations—my mom and Davis’s, my students’ foremothers’, mine and my students’—who have embraced definitions of strength that have put us at odds with men and have caused us to alter the natural functions of our bodies. We have done this in the name of self-actualization, becoming who we were meant to be or who we believe we were meant to be. We have done what we believe is best for us. So, historically, the strong black woman has defined her path, challenged the status quo and has done what she believes needs to be done to meet her goals. Defending herself has been a priority. As one sister said: “Being a strong black woman is being able to overcome obstacles, not allowing certain circumstances to stop her from moving forward.” This fact, however, had me at a crossroads: How can I, a Christian black woman who has embraced four generations of self-definition for self-actualization, move forward in the name of God? I know that being a Christian should be the foremost consideration when making decisions, but how do I reconcile that with the other aspects of who I am? Do I assert my natural human rights? Do I demand equality for women? Can I choose what I believe is right for my body? This is what we explore at Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black Woman.

Scripturally: “Rise up, ye women that are at ease; hear my voice, ye careless daughters; give ear unto my speech. Many days and years shall ye be troubled, ye careless women; for the vintage shall fail, the gathering shall not come. –Isaiah 32:9-10

6 responses to “About Blog

  1. The Strong Black Woman for me BC was a woman that took care of her family & kids if she had a man ok & if she didn’t have a man ok. She didn’t take no mess off a man or a woman. If they didn’t know that she definitely was going to let them know. She had to have the last word right or wrong she didn’t back down for anybody. If you got in her way she had no problem telling you to move. (WOW) That was me & that’s what I saw growing up with 10 sisters. I can say not all of them was this way but the one’s that were affected me. My mom was no joke either. (She probably would deny somethings now that she is born & saved again.) By no means do I blame anyone but myself. I realized once I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior I was jacked up. I kinda new before I just didn’t know the extent. I realized that I was hurt,angry,disappointed & unforgiving was the reason I carried on the way that I did & that God was the only way for me. That I needed healing from my hurt I needed to forgive some people & let go of the anger. That the Lord forgave me & I had to forgive others to move on. Now I know that God loves me & is on my side I have hope. I’m not where I want to be but I’m not where I was. I thank God for Evangel Ministries Women Of Purpose. For you minister Rhonda,Pastor Renee & every woman that labors with other women for our growth in the Lord. I have been blessed.

  2. musingsofastrongblackwoman

    Sister Lisa, Thanks for sharing your testimony. I know that it’s going to help somebody. Together we can be who God wants us to be!

  3. Evangelist Denise

    The conviction of your thoughts and the power of your words will stir the desires, known and unknown, of many to let go and let God.
    It takes time, experience, and revelation knowledge for each of us to realize and understand that our “control” is really all about us and not God.
    Establishing a relationship with Jesus enables one to understand that He has the best plan, knows what’s best, and wants only the best for us if we just move aside and allow Him to have His way.
    For some, as it was for me, it was difficult but when I finally got it…..Thank you Jesus, life became easier to endure and enjoy.
    Control and the fear of losing it is stressful and stress kills the spirit. Surely, that’s not God’s plan or purpose for our lives. Surrendering to God allows the mind, body, and spirit to unite with His will and life takes on new meaning, and the love He has for us we are better able to share it with others.
    Please continue to stir our thinking and our actions with your insights into the human need and spirit.
    I am so proud of you and send you much love,
    Aunt Denise

  4. musingsofastrongblackwoman

    Thanks so much, Aunt Denise. I truly welcome your wisdom and appreciate it.

  5. Kelvin Burks, Elder

    A strong woman loves God, prays, and meditate on His word to teach and uplift His people. A strong woman can stand on her own two feet with confidence, poise, and yes much beauty. A strong woman will encourage a sister to walk right and sale less of herself off cheaply. A strong woman will cause a man with daughter to say to her, “Now that’s the type of woman men really like!” You, Erin, LaSonjia, Sharon, my sister Linda and more are now holders of the mantle to show today’s girls what a real women can achieve. Be strong sister.

  6. musingsofastrongblackwoman

    Kelvin, you are always so encouraging. Thanks for taking the time to stop by my blog, read it and make comments. I appreciate, you, my brother.

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