Lose Control

One day last week I was fed up, spiritually spent and didn’t have the remedy to get filled. God told me to call my sister, but I reasoned that it was too early. I didn’t want to tell her that I felt like I was in a spiritual wasteland, that my weariness had caused me to be weak, that while I desired to do what I needed to get spiritually strong, I felt too physically and emotionally weak to do it. I didn’t want to say that I was weak, that this spiritually fit strong black woman had become flabby. But God repeated, “Call her,” and I did.

After a few quick updates I had to interrupt her so I wouldn’t lose the courage to tell her I had no idea what I needed to do to escape this place that I don’t remember traveling to. She spoke life to me in so many ways and then said, “I heard the Lord say, ‘Lose Control.’” I knew then why God told me to call her.

I have been talking these past few weeks about the need to give up what we believe is the proper control. My wrestling was that I didn’t want to admit to my sister, my best friend, that this spiritually mature woman was having a weak moment. I didn’t want her to know that I wanted to maintain the appearance of being in control. How could I, a spiritually fit strong black woman, not know what I needed to do to get through this spiritual crisis? I teach on fasting and studying and applying God’s word. I understand the need to confess my sins and repent of them. And even though none of this seemed to be working for me, I still wanted to be controlling, choosing silence instead of speaking to the woman God ordained to give me my breakthrough.

Losing control (read being controlling) doesn’t mean chaos for your life; it means God’s control of your life, surrendering to His will so that you will not only prosper but also have good success (See Joshua 1:8), the kind that God wants you to have.

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith

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