The List

strong-black-woman1If you have filled the job of a Strong Black Woman (see previous entry) then you’re likely on The List:

• Self-reliant
• Controlling
• Reliable
• Career-focused
• Feminist
• Sharp-tongued
• Mothering
• Afrocentric

Are you on the list? Is it stereotypical? True? A little of both? Let’s discuss The List.

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith

(Picture copyright by Jepchumba. ©All Rights Reserved)


5 responses to “The List

  1. La Wanda Lucy

    Hello Min. Rhonda:

    I am enjoying your website. I am definitely on the job list of a strong black woman. There were many times when I too like Florida (Good Times) had to release and let go. I believe it was embedded in me through generations. I was also told women today aren’t strong as women back in the day. My mom stresses how she raised four daughters with my dad working often multiple jobs until he received the job from General Motors. Mom would say she raised the children, kept the house in order, cooked, kept an immaculate home, assisted with childrens homework, walked the children to school, being a supportive wife, keeping the wood floors schalacked and shing by hand on her knees. and active in church duties. My maternal grandmother often reminded us the strong black woman she portrayed daily. And then there is my mother-in-law who stresses how she raised five children, worked as a schoolteacher, cooked dinner, etc. Each of the above women comment how most women today aren’t able to endure as they did. I believe that is why I too felt I had to be this superwoman who was able to go over and beyond the endurance of the title of strong black woman. But, a few years ago I had a tia (mini stroke) and my doctor told me stress will kill you. That moment was my wake up call and I was able to release and let go. I learned the Lord is in control and not me.

    La Wanda Lucy

  2. I think my wake-up call has been going on, like a slow-motion movie, for years. Every day I learn a little more about what it means to let go and let God.

    Now if I could just afford to hire somebody to do the work. Ha, every woman’s dream right?

  3. Yes, GOD is in control. If these women in your life were able to do all of these things without health and/or marital problems, then they truly were not the source of their strength.
    O.K., so we see our fore-mothers and other women in our lives flying these “planes of life”- smoothly. But, have we ever stopped to ask ourselves: Whose plane is she flying, and where is she going?
    If your mother’s desire was to be a good helpmeet to her husband, then she was heaven-bound, flying GOD’s plane and GOD’s grace was with her, enabling her to do what other women can’t and will not do. The glory that is portrayed in her life (as well as any other woman who seeks to live in this manner), strictly belongs to GOD, and not them.
    GOD’s power is eternal and when “faith in HIM” is properly passed down from generation to generation, it never fails-because HE can’t fail.
    With that said, I believe that the reason women are not able to endure today as much as women did in yester-years is because faith in GOD has been lost and/or distorted. Today, we’re believing GOD to make us “look like we’re strong” so we can be glorified, rather than believing that GOD will create in us a heart whose strength comes directly from HIM only to glorify HIM. These are the things that are near and dear to GOD’s heart and the answers to prayers that are according to HIS will and purposes are always “Yes and Amen.”
    HE created us as women to bring HIM glory, and not ourselves. And as a wife, we bring much glory to GOD when we seek to support and please our husbands – for CHRIST’s sake. Ephesians 5:22 says “Wives submit unto (follow the lead of) your husband as unto (you would follow the lead of) the LORD”
    The single woman brings glory to GOD when she is about her Heavenly Father’s business and not her own. For if she is in CHRIST her life is hidden and CHRIST becomes her life – as it is stated in Colossians 3:3-4.
    Here’s a question for the married and single woman: Am I self reliant, controlling, reliable, career focused, a feminist, sharp tongued, mothering, afrocentric and whatever else you want to add to the list, all because I have a pure desire to glorify GOD by being a great benefit to my husband and/or GOD’s kingdom?
    I believe that if we ponder this question with an earnest effort to line up with GOD’s will for our lives, we will be in a great position to redirect our passions and our faith. The “Florida Evans moments” in our lives will be a result of GOD “repairing that which was breached” in our lives.

  4. musingsofastrongblackwoman

    When you have time, tell us more about this slow-motion movie, Nik.

    Yes, to have someone do my work! Laundry would be at the top of the list (LOL).

  5. musingsofastrongblackwoman

    Thanks for coming to the site and praise God that you are enjoying it! LaWanda, your story is like so many that I hear. And women from earlier generations seem to continue to take pride in “their” strength. I just want to make sure that we are not being duped, volunteering to be slaves (trying to be everything for everybody), not liking it, knowing that’s it’s killing us, but continuing to do it because of this felt need to claim the honor of being a strong black woman.

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